3 Essential Conditions for Mastering Change

Do you fight change?

Sometimes are you forced into changing at work or home?

Is the direction of your life and business heading in the right direction?

We live in a world of change….constantly changing. Facebook makes changes like we change underwear. Social Media Golden Rules in general changes frequently, which forces us to be more flexible. Are all the changes in life and social media taking us off course?

Why do we resist?

There are many reasons for this, but here are the top ones.

Loss of control. Change interferes with autonomy and can make people feel that they’ve lost control over their territory. Our sense of self-determination is often the first things to go when faced with a potential change coming from someone else. Smart leaders leave room for those affected by change to make choices. They invite others into the planning, giving them ownership.

Excess uncertainty. If change feels like walking off a cliff blindfolded, then people will reject it. People will often prefer to remain mired in misery than to head toward an unknown. As the saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.” To overcome inertia requires a sense of safety as well as an inspiring vision.

Leaders should create certainty of process, with clear, simple steps and timetables.

Everything seems different. Change is meant to bring something different, but how different? We are creatures of habit. Routines become automatic, but change jolts us into consciousness, sometimes in uncomfortable ways. Too many differences can be distracting or confusing. Leaders should try to minimize the number of unrelated differences introduced by a central change. Wherever possible keep things familiar.

Remain focused on the important things; avoid change for the sake of change.

WANT TO CHANGE

Who wants to change…right? I have a saying “Until the Pain Becomes Great Enough Action Will Not Occur.”

Sometimes we go along with all change and don’t have any direction in life or business, or don’t have the confidence to stand for something. Then something jolts us from reality and we take action.

Be Proactive.

The intensity of your desire to change, whether based on a positive or negative emotion, correlates to the likelihood you will complete the process. 

You must allow yourself to feel a strong emotion, with anger being one of your strongest motivators, before you fully commit to making a complex change in your self-concept and behavior. An intense negative reaction to your circumstances revs up your internal motor more powerfully than a lightly held wish. Through extensive research, Jennifer Lerner and her team at the Harvard Decision Science Laboratory(link is external) found that anger both encourages people to believe they can control their future and then motivates them to take risks.

The skill is to shift the focus of your anger away from external circumstances to instead focus on what you strongly desire to change within yourself. It is not your flaky boss or overwhelming responsibilities that make you scream at strangers while you drive. You should be angry that it has taken so long for you to realize that you have the power to change your circumstances.

Ask Yourself, “Are you finally mad enough at yourself for allowing this to happen again?” The question focuses the anger on their own avoidance mechanisms, disarming the blocks they had for changing.

When you adamantly say, “Enough,” you may be angry about your circumstances but probably you are just as angry at yourself for standing in the mud with two good feet.

Often, people ask me what they can do to get others to change.

I remind them that the starting point of change, of accomplishing anything different or better, is a desire, and desire is always personal.

DESIRE

You can’t want something for someone else, just as you can’t set goals for someone else. The starting point of you mastering change is to feel the change is desirable or necessary, or both.

The change, the goal…better sales, more success, a better life, and better relationships must be consistent with your values, your ideals and the person you would really like to be.

It all comes down to one simple question: How badly do you want to change? Once you make that big decision to change your life or business direction, the other steps will fall into place out of sheer determination.

When asked during an interview how he managed to reach the top as a professional bodybuilder and Hollywood actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger replied with a single word, “Drive!” All great success ultimately begins with an idea, but what makes ideas become reality is the fuel of human desire. An idea by itself can give you a temporary feeling of inspiration, but burning desire is what gets you through all the perspiration necessary to overcome the inevitable obstacles along the way.

Photo: Julie Little

WILLING TO CHANGE

In visiting with many people and businesses. Many people are sincere in saying they want to change. They realize that things could be better, and they could be more successful or whatever. However in their hearts, most are not willing to…

• Give up the old life
• Give up the 10 Habits of Character & Leadership
• Give up the old associations

One person may want to be healthy, but unwilling to give up fast and fatty foods. Another person may want to be successful in life and business, but may not want to learn new things, new social media strategies, devote the time and energy necessary to be successful.

You must be willing to let go of the OLD PERSON in order to become the NEW PERSON.

You must be willing to STOP doing certain things, even if your friends disapprove. START doing the things that will propel the new you, take your business or non-profit to new heights.

Clearly define and imagine the new strategies, the new you.

You must overcome the twin obstacles…

• Homeostasis – The tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, especially as maintained by physiological processes.
• Psychosclerosis – Is the hardening of the attitude, which causes a person to cease dreaming, seeing, thinking, and leading. It is the hardening of the mind so that we become unteachable: we stop learning and we stop growing.

WILLING TO MAKE EFFORTS

Most people give up easily, especially in today’s society of wanting instant results. PERSISTENCE is a key quality to be courted and developed. Start with the end in mind. Focus on the end result at all times, and be clear about this, and be flexible enough to adjust to life and business conditions.

Social Media is no silver bullet, yet many people I talk to want instant results, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. You must be willing to persevere for a long time without much evidence of progress. What you are aiming for is a fundamental long-term improvement in your life and business. You must work very hard for the success, and that will be your reward. Make it big, make it compelling and make it worthwhile when achieved.

WHY NOT BET ON YOURSELF

Nothing in the world is ever absolutely certain or guaranteed. Often the difference between a successful man/woman and failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the COURAGE that one has to bet on his ideas, a calculated risk –and to ACT!

Standing still, failing to act, causes people who are faced with a problem/challenge to become nervous, feel “stymied,” trapped.” Study the situation thoroughly looking at various courses of action, and considering all the positives and negatives. Pick out the one that has the most promise and take action.

If we wait to all the lights are on green before we leave the house, we’ll never get to where we are going.

Once you are moving forward you can correct your course as you go. Nobody is Right All the Time.

Practice Exercises

Form the habit of reacting aggressively and Positively toward threats and problems. Form the habit of keeping goal-oriented all the time, regardless of the circumstances.

Do this by…

• Visualizing the positive outcome in all situations
• Verbalizing your self-talk with positive words and phrases
• See yourself taking positive action
• See yourself reacting to problems and challenges, by confronting them, dealing with them in a positive and intelligent manner.

You are in control of you destiny. Be willing to Change and Claim it.

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Tagged as: Blair Ball, Blair Evan Ball, Change, Flexible, Habits, Prepare1, Social Media, Social Media Coach, Social Media Coach Memphis, Social Media Marketing, Success