All Change is From The Inner to The Outer

Do you fear change?

Do you know someone who really fears change?

Did you know you are in control?

If you don’t like change you’ll like irrelevance even more!

– Anonymous

Most psychologists today agree that your level of self-esteem is the most important part of your personality, and largely predicts your success or failure, happiness or unhappiness, in every area of your life. In fact, your self-esteem is so important that you tend to organize your whole life around it. Almost everything you do is either to gain self-esteem, or to protect against the loss of self-esteem.

Never underestimate the magnitude of the forces that reinforce complacency and that help maintain the status quo.

The rule with regard to your self-esteem is that “Everything Counts!” Everything that happens to you and around you affects your self-esteem in some way. Everything either increases your self-esteem or lowers it. Everything that happens to you either supports your self-esteem or threatens it

THE DEFINITION OF SELF ESTEEM

The very best definition of self-esteem is, “How much you like yourself.” What we have found is that, the more you like yourself, the better you do. And the better you do, the more you like yourself. Each time you perform well in any area, your self esteem goes up. You like yourself more, and you perform even better in that area, and in other areas as well.

The most powerful words you can use to take control of your personality, and to build your self-esteem, are the words, “I like myself!” The more you repeat the words, “I like myself!” to yourself, the happier and more confident you feel, and the better and more effectively you perform in whatever you are doing.

Perhaps the most powerful words in your vocabulary are the words that you say to yourself and believe. Fully 95% of your emotions are determined by the words that are running through your mind at any given time.

COMPLACENCY

So why are people complacent?

Ask almost anyone over thirty about the difficulty of creating major change in their life and the answer will probably include the equivalent of “very, very tough.” Yet most of us still don’t get it. We use the right words, but down deep we underestimate the enormity of the task, especially the first step:

Establish a sense of urgency

If your’re comfortable with your…

Job
Money
Life
Family
Relationships
Health

Why change? Right.

Why go to the extra effort to excel. Yet, down deep in most of us is this yearning to be better, to excel, to be better than the competition. Yet since we were little, we’ve heard NO over 50,000 times so we become conditioned.

Nobody likes to stick their neck out…yet we have successful people all over the world who are changing it quickly, yet it all started with changing themselves. They see themselves differently than most.

How do you see yourself?

Successful
Failure
Fat
Healthy
Bad things always happen to me
Good things always follow me
Friendly
Unfriendly
Smart
Dumb

You see you write the script. Why are you letting most people write you own script?

SOURCES OF COMPLACENCY

When the pain becomes great enough, action will occur.

– Blair Ball

What are some of the sources for complacency?

Too much happy talk
Too much pie in the sky dreaming
The absence of a major problem or crisis
Setting low performance standards
Lack of candid feedback from external sources
Measuring the wrong performance standards
Throwing in the towel
WE compare ourselves to others who perform and achieve less

PUSHING UP THE URGENCY LEVEL

Creating a strong sense of urgency usually demands bold or even risky actions that we normally associate with good leadership.

How do you get out of that rut?

Setting high goals and expectations that push you past your comfort level
Creating a sense of urgency by imposing painful deadlines
By defining your mission and purpose that keeps you awake
By pushing to get things done faster and more expediently
By questioning the status quo
By having a BHAG…Big Hairy Audacious Goal

CHANGE YOUR VISION

How do you see yourself today? This very minute?

Did you know that you have the power to change everything in your life starting right now?

The most powerful words that you can repeat, over and over, to neutralize and overcome the fear of failure, are the words, “I can do it! I can do it!”

The kindest words that a parent can tell his or her child, in addition to the words “I love you,” are the words “You can do anything that you set your mind to.” It is amazing how many people’s lives have been dramatically affected by the influence of a single person, a parent, relative or friend, who simply told them, over and over again, “You can do it.”

The Antidote to All Your Fears

One of the greatest discoveries in the development of the peak performance personality is that your fears and your level of self-esteem have an inverse or opposite relationship. In other words, the more you like yourself, the less you fear failure and rejection. The higher your levels of self-esteem, the lower are the fears and doubts that hold most people back.

The more you like and value yourself, the more willing you are to take risks and to endure the inevitable setbacks, obstacles and temporary failures that will occur. The more you like yourself, the less concerned you are with the approval or disapproval of other people. You go your own way.

The very fastest way to build your self-esteem and self-confidence, and to neutralize the fears that may be holding you back, is to repeat continually the words “I like myself!” Whenever you feel doubtful or uneasy, begin repeating these words to yourself, “I like myself! I like myself! I like myself!”

This is not from an egotistical point of view. Nor is it meant for you to become arrogant.

CREATE SHORT-TERM WINS

Have you ever noticed that even a small win gives you more confidence? Strive for continual short term wins.

A good short term win has three characteristics:

1. It’s visible. People can see for themselves whether the result is real or just hype.

2. It’s unambiguous; there can be little argument over the result.

3. It’s clearly related to the change effort.

THE ROLE OF SHORT-TERM WINS

Short term performance improvements help your transformation in at least 6 ways.

1. Provide evidence that sacrifices are worth it.

2. Positive feedback from friends, associates, and family.

3. Helps to fine-tune your vision and strategies.

4. Undermines your critics and self-serving individuals.

5. Keeps friends, associates and family on board.

6. Builds Momentum.

FULFILL YOUR COMPLETE POTENTIAL

There are four more mental laws that you need to know and work with in order to fulfill your complete potential.

1.The first of these is the Law of Habit. This law says that, “Whatever you do repeatedly eventually becomes a new habit.”

In its simplest terms, this means that you can develop any habit of thought or action that you desire, if you will just repeat it often enough and long enough. We will talk about new habit formation and development in the next chapter.

2. The second law that you must know and use is the Law of Emotion. This law says that, “Every action that you take is stimulated by an emotion of some kind, either positive or negative.”

3. The third law Concentrate on What You Want. This brings us to the Law of Concentration. This law says that, “Whatever you dwell upon, grows and expands in your life.”

4. The final law in this series is the Law of Subconscious activity. This law says that, “Your subconscious mind accepts any thought, plan or goal created by the conscious mind, and then organizes your thoughts and behaviors to bring that goal into reality.”

Whatever thoughts or goals you repeat over and over again in your conscious mind are eventually accepted by your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind then goes to work, 24 hours a day, to coordinate your thoughts, words and actions to bring those goals into your life.

Action Exercises:

1. Identify the primary causes for the effects in your life. Why are you where you are and what could you do differently to get different results?
2. On a scale of 1-10, how much do you feel that you are in control of your life? What could you do to increase your feelings of control?
3. What do you think about most of the time? What should you focus and concentrate on to improve your life?
4. What are the values, qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire? What actions could you take to incorporate those values into your personality?
5. How much do you like yourself? What are the experiences that give you your greatest feelings of self-esteem, and how could you create more of them?
6. What are your greatest fears? How would you behave differently if you had no fears at all?
7. What can you do, starting today, to feed your mind with more of the thoughts, words, people and pictures that are more consistent with the very best person you could be, and the most important goals you want to achieve?

“Man becomes a slave to his constantly repeated acts. What he at first chooses, at last compels.” (Orison Swett Marden)

Sources: Brian Tracy & John P. Kotter

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About Blair

Blair Evan Ball is a Social Media Coach and founder of Prepare1, a company that works with businesses, individuals and non-profits. He is a former executive with a Fortune 50 company, and his national division did $1Billion+ in sales annually.

Blair has written three e-books: Facebook for Business Made Easy, Facebook Pages for Business Made Easy, and WordPress Blog Setup Made Easy.

Blair also educates, trains entrepreneurs and business professionals how to amplify their brand, increase revenues, and raise more funds.

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